My husband and I took the FPU classes in 2011. FIVE YEARS ago, and we are *STILL* trying to get debt free. He had a disc replacement, a crap job that he couldn’t leave due to needing the medical insurance for the TEN surgeries he has had in the past 2.5 years, and mucho unpaid time off for all of this. No insurance for some, no vacation and no disability for all, and child support the entire time. We have blown through our Baby Step #1 so many times I have lost count. MANY times I wanted to give up, but I strive for the day that I can holler out that we are debt free. We were kind of close until he had the multiple surgeries. We had to pay our deductible *and* co-insurance before the insurance company would start giving any benefits, so for 3 years, we had to come up with (and are STILL paying off) $5,000 per year. Its hard to come up with $15,000 when you are off work because of the surgeries. So, finally my husband got a new job and for the lousy 60 days we had no insurance (probation period) he ended up having to go to the ER *twice in one week* for kidney stones. The $8,000 bill for the ER and the $440.00 bill to read a CT scan just arrived last week, so we must add that to the pile. Normally, that would have thrown me to the edge of the cliff, but I have changed my attitude because one day I *will* be debt free. I also understand your tax issues. I live in Illinois and my husband works in Missouri. It *used* to be, if you worked in MO and lived in IL, you got a tax break in IL for the money you paid to MO and you “broke even” for IL. Last year, IL dropped that break so we are now paying income tax in MO and IL. What does this mean? It means we owed IL $600 last year and $757 this year. We do not get federal refunds, so yeah. We *are* planning to move to MO, but selling a home in the most broke and crooked state in the Nation is not easy. I’m hoping we can make a small profit to put a down payment on our new place, but we aren’t far enough along to see what our place is worth. Moving to MO will help us with the tax break and will put us closer to his job, which is now an hour and a half drive, one way.
So, how do I do it? Well, once in a blue moon, I vent to this list. I cry. I stress. I worry. I get angry and I fight. My husband and I are by no means “gazelle intense” so that keeps us back a little bit, but he watched his mom and dad say “one day we will go here” or “one day we will have this”, then his mom got Leukemia and died very young. So someday never came, and he doesn’t want to live for someday and watch today fade away. Its all in how you see it and how fast you want to be debt free.
Our big issue will be with retirement. I didn’t work most of my life, so I have no Social Security to use, and it will be hard to live on his alone. Right now we have *zero* retirement. Yep, no 401(k), no savings, nothing. I’m hoping to be debt free by August of this year and then we will start on BS#3. It has been a long, hard, tough road, but if it is really what you want, you somehow find the will to keep going.
Hang in there and continue on. I remember posting about how I can’t get past BS#1 many times, and now, I’m so close to starting BS#3 I can actually see it!! 🙂
Use this list. It is a sanity saver. 🙂